


Parental Advisory

by QueSeraAwesome



Series: Domestic AU [5]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Implied South/Connie, Kid Fic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-22 16:08:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2513873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueSeraAwesome/pseuds/QueSeraAwesome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>South and Connie come for a visit. Wash needs to establish some ground rules first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Parental Advisory

Connie and South have almost made it all the way up the steps by the time stirring starts from the house.

"It’s bigger than I thought," South says, taking it in. "Seems these assholes really clean up."

"I think it has more to do with the three kids," Connie replies.

She reaches for the doorbell, but before she can press it the door opens and Wash’s head pokes out. Connie opens her mouth to say hello, but then…

Then Wash basically squeezes himself into the crack of the door, shoving one elbow out to hold it steady, effectively blocking the entryway. Now her mouth’s just kind of.,..hanging open.

"What the fuck?"

"Okay, before I let you in," Wash whispers intently. "We gotta establish some ground rules."

"Ground rules?" Connie asks, bewildered, a bit offended, but mostly amused.

"CONNIE!" Simra shrieks, from somewhere behind her father. "AUNTIE SOUTH!"

There’s the sound of small running feet, and then an impact. Wash lets out an oof, sways forward.

"South and Connie are here?" Nya’s voice calls from somewhere in the depths of the house.

"Promises," Wash says, over Simra’s attempts to get past him. "I’m serious."

"Like what?" Connie asks.

"Do you promise not to show my children any more knife tricks?"

Connie winces.

"Did they try to—"

"No," Wash says. "They did not. Not with the sharp knives. All of the kitchen knives are on a high shelf now."

"Okay, yeah, I promise," Connie agrees.

"Good. Next promise, and this one you both have to agree," Wash says. "Do you promise not to sneak any of my children out to get tattoos in the middle of the night?"

“What?”

"Hell no," South retorts, laughing. Wash glares at her.

"No matter how much they beg?" Wash continues.

"Oh holy shit, you’re serious," South says. "Really?"

"Really," Wash says. "Really, really."

"Paaapaaa, mooove!" Simra’s voice yells from behind him. "What are you talking about!? Move your butt!"

"How old is Nya again?" Connie asks.

Wash sighs.

"Almost fifteen," he says.

"Ah," Connie says. "Yeah, okay. No kidnapping your kids in the middle of the night."

Simra sighs explosively from behind the door,

"Papaaa," she whines. "Your butt’s too big."

"Just big enough," Wash replies, completely deadpan. "Just be patient."

He turns back to his friends on the porch.

"South?"

"Okay, yeah, fine,” South says.

He gives her a long, searching look.

"Okay," he says, standing back, and opening the door.

Simra cheers, darts past him. South sways backward under the force of Simra’s body slam/hug/tackle.

"Jesus, kid," she gripes. "You’re getting big!"

"Your big lug home?" Connie asks, peering past him.

"Making dinner," Wash says.

"But it’s only four o’clock?"

"Yeah, well," Wash shrugs.

"Maine cooks?" South asks. "Who’da thunk it?"

"It’s good to see you, Wash," Connie says, smiling.

He smiles back, bending to envelop her in a hug.

"You too, Connie," he says. "C’mon in."

**Author's Note:**

> QueSeraAwesome.tumblr.com


End file.
